April 26, 2021

What do difficult people really want?

Difficult people. Little girl with crossed arms.

Difficult people. Oh, wouldn’t the world be a better place without them!

But…

Think of one. Why do they seem difficult to you?

Maybe they do things differently, maybe they have a different approach, maybe they have a different communication style, maybe they have different goals in mind, maybe they consider time and deadlines differently, maybe they……. – you fill in the blank.

Usually, people are difficult because they are different.

So, seek to see the world from the other person’s point of view.

I am not saying that you should agree with them, but at least try and figure out why they are behaving the way they do. People always have a valid reason (to them) for doing what they do.

So you could ask…

“What is the positive outcome you want to achieve by this behaviour?” or words to that effect. At the very least it will make them stop and think and you will probably learn something useful.

If you can’t ask, do it as a thought experiment like this to get insights that will help.

My best wishes, Paul

Paul Matthews

CEO and Founder of People Alchemy

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