April 26, 2021

What do difficult people really want?

Difficult people. Little girl with crossed arms.

Difficult people. Oh, wouldn’t the world be a better place without them!

But…

Think of one. Why do they seem difficult to you?

Maybe they do things differently, maybe they have a different approach, maybe they have a different communication style, maybe they have different goals in mind, maybe they consider time and deadlines differently, maybe they……. – you fill in the blank.

Usually, people are difficult because they are different.

So, seek to see the world from the other person’s point of view.

I am not saying that you should agree with them, but at least try and figure out why they are behaving the way they do. People always have a valid reason (to them) for doing what they do.

So you could ask…

“What is the positive outcome you want to achieve by this behaviour?” or words to that effect. At the very least it will make them stop and think and you will probably learn something useful.

If you can’t ask, do it as a thought experiment like this to get insights that will help.

My best wishes, Paul

Paul Matthews

CEO and Founder of People Alchemy

share this article:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

related posts

Vimeo screenshot of webinar

The learning journey to generate changed behaviors

Josh Kamrath, CEO of Bongo interviews Paul Matthews to talk about learning workflows and the necessary paths to generate changed behavior.

Read More
glass pawns on a chess board, one see through the others opaque

Where is the leadership pointing?

Very few organisations are satisfied with where they are, and any leadership team worth its salt will have a vision of where they want to be instead.

Read More
black board with wooden frame and Why? written in white chalk

Be wary of the power of ‘Why?’

Imagine you see someone, a colleague, a friend, even a partner, doing something wrong, and it matters to you. Or …

Read More
People sitting around a table working with laptop and making notes

Informal learning’s role in learning transfer

We have just published Paul’s latest blog. He talks about the role informal learning plays in learning transfer. Why it …

Read More

search blog

Get your free weekly tip

You agree that we can keep a record of your details, and send you other occasional offers. See our Privacy Policy